Don’t you just love my new rolling storage cart?! I didn’t even have to drive far away to get it because my sweet friend brought it back for me! The closest Ikea is 4 hours away and this is the 2nd piece of their storage I have obtained both without real effort. : ) I put this Ikea Cart together all by myself & I must say feel quite accomplished. They should invest in actual words in their directions & it would have cut an hour out of my battle. (I won’t share how long it took me but, it was longer than an hour!)
Look at all the food colors I have though? Seriously?! I could never rationalize not having them all either. Side note before you keep reading: There is a fun giveaway beginning today! You can enter here on the blog and enter on my Instagram account also! I will save the fun stuff for the end so keep reading through this very personal blog post! It would mean so much to me if you do!
So far in 2015 I’ve baked & cooked a whole lot ; Worked way too many hours at my full time job & since the time change haven’t slept worth crap; I’ve found myself really going through some crazy anxiety and processing of my life. I know this is a food blog and while some of you who love me read my posts regularly, many of you pass through for a moment and have no real clue about Jennifer. Perhaps you are closing this window now because you could care less & that is totally okay! I’ve spent most of this year focusing on negative things if I am 100% transparent.
So many people in the blog / business world say it’s a bad idea to talk about your Faith and personal beliefs on your blog but, I just can’t agree. My faith is the heart of every decision I make. Sometimes, the wrong decisions which by the grace of Jesus I recognize. For the past few months though something has been off with me and I’ve spent lots of time focusing on what is not right & what isn’t perfect & why not this instead of what is so very important.
Long work days & many changes & lots of reasons to let my personal time with Jesus slack off. The very anchor to every moment of my life but, He is so easy to take for granted.
To give you a general background lesson: I spent many years of my life confused & unsure about everything really. ( well through most of my twenties) I started to realize I had made more than the average share of bad choices & scary choices honestly almost 6 years ago. I started working at my current job & in that very building is where I realized I was being pursued by the Holy Spirit. (I hope you’re still reading!) I know that it’s always easy to see things in hindsight but, that’s one of the coolest things about God. He allows us to suffer and struggle and get to our lowest so that in those moments somehow we see our need for Him. Well, he brought me low and brought me way high. He chooses us though to know Him and walk through life with His grace. I am forever changed and impacted by so many people who shared the Gospel with me. To the co -workers & new friends that loved me during a very dark time in my life I am thankful and need to remember it can always be worse.
The chaos that is life and to do lists I realized that I was putting God last most days as of late. I have been praying rarely and when I did it was halfway done & I wasn’t really confessing my heart. I know this isn’t 100% of why I feel so overwhelmed but, it’s kind of a lot of it. I feel like I am struggling to wait for His timing & really want my own timing & desires to be leading the way. (I know, that’s scary!) Jesus is faithful though even when I am faithless & I believe -no, I am going to have faith and KNOW he’s dragging me out of this funk.
I write all this to remind myself that I love Jesus more than anything & to share with my readers this truth about who I am. He is the very reason I am able to write this blog & share the goodness of baking & cooking. I am a daughter of the most highest King all because He wants me to be. In this season of desiring certain things in my life & frustration of the waiting I realize that what each day I need to begin with the reminder my worth & value is in Jesus. He came so that I could have an life free of the chains of my mistakes & that I would know him with my whole life.
One of the coolest things I have been exploring is a new devotional. The Wholeheartedly Devotional has been such a refreshing look at being single & the struggles we face as women. In church & life we’re surrounded by other married women or women who are blessed to be mothers when we are not at either place. I as a single & childless believer sometimes just don’t want to talk to people because my own pain of having “less” keeps me guarded. Not good but, if you’ve been in this place I think you understand.
Natalie, I am thankful that you poured out your heart to share this book! It’s been so great to hear someone else say the real things I feel & fear about where I am and to be reminded my identity is not when or if I get married or what I bake or cook but, in Christ & that there is so much He has in store for me.
I hope you’ll check out her blog & get to know her! http://www.nataliemetrejean.com
If you’re still with me and you actually read all of this- let me say I am so grateful! On to the less serious & giveaway!
Because I love writing & creating in my kitchen and am excited to share the goodness in this devo and I appreciate any of the readers who silently follow me I am giving these goodies away!
Here’s how to enter the giveaway!
Sign up to receive updates from Jenniferbakes.com and comment on this post. Tell me that you’ve signed up and what your favorite color is & you are entered to win! Easy as eating a cookie cupcake. ; )
For a 2nd entry Come follow me on Instagram! Plus you get to see what I’m working on every day!
Winner will be announced on Friday April 3!
I’ll be back tomorrow with something yummy & not so personal but, I sincerely thank you for letting me share! It means the world to me that you’re here and I hope to hear from you soon!
Happy week & stay tuned for these brownies next!